The introduction does a good job of describing Brian Cozart as a person. It also successfully acts as exposition for the author’s main topic. It could be improved by reducing redundancy in the first paragraph and fixing a minor grammatical error in the second sentence. The author cites an article describing the military’s policies on LGBT service members over the past century, as well as studies on both the health and treatment of homosexuals in the military. This solidifies her argument that “heteronormative” culture in the military was detrimental to the campaign against AIDS. By using scholarly sources, she builds a substantial amount of credibility early on.

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